Has your partner done anything during sex that has made you feel scared ?

“ Euphoria” has to be the one of the most memorable series that I have ever seen. Difficult and uncomfortable to sit through , visually gorgeous , it shows the lives of a group of  High School teens living their lives. And their lives are any parents worst nightmare of drug addiction , web cam sex work, abusive relationships and…

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What do you do post coital? 

Place yourself into this scenario. The penetration has happened. He has had an orgasm, She may be one of the 15% of women who reliably orgasm through only vaginal penetration . Or more likely she is  one of the 65% of women who orgasm , primarily  through  clitoral stimulation . What happens now? What do you do now? What does…

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My ageing body wants sex !

I look in the mirror and I see an aged face and a body that is fit and strong.. and aged. Wrinkles, droopiness, thinning skin, hair and nails , stare back at me. I turn away faster than in previous years, I  put on beautiful underwear ,  dress in colours that make me feel alive, spray on perfume and go…

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Strategies, plots and plans : sneaky ways you manage sexual desire discrepancy.

In August 2015 a momentous event occurred in the world of sexuality and sexual health . The FDA approved the first ever drug to treat a sexual dysfunction in pre menopausal women,  namely , Hypoactive  Sexual Desire Disorder.  It is defined as ” a persistent lack of sexual desire in women that causes personal distress.” The Society for Women’s Health Research estimates…

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Bad Sex and the Orgasm Gap

Im trying to remember the first time I became aware of having Bad Sex. Was it the time I found myself lying underneath a man who was thrusting and thrusting .. and thrusting.. in silence as he was so focused on his own male pleasure and ego that his need  to delay  ejaculation overtook any consideration for the person he…

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Is your vibe killing your sex life?

It’s one of the great ironies of my world: vibrators are proven to be the most effective means for women  to achieve orgasm . Yet they are seen as less acceptable and desirable than other means of achieving orgasm . Perhaps it is the traditional and patriarchal belief that a man has to be the one who gives his woman…

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Intimate Loneliness: Sex with things

A few months ago , acclaimed  German artist and visual activist SaySay.Love reached out  and invited me to consider creating an event for his upcoming Exhibition, “Intimate Loneliness /Sex with Things”, at the Gus Gallery, Stellenbosch , 30th January. Like a well trained automated bot, I reached for my device and googled. And did an In Real Life “wow” when I…

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