LISTENING

Hello there,

LISTENING

Watch me talk about it here

https://youtu.be/0DpREnjkS5k

Last weekend I spent time online training on how to improve my teletherapy skills.  The art of listening has never felt more crucial.  Instead of having a whole person in front of me, instead of my clients having my whole person in front of them, we are now limited to head and shoulder shots of each other.

As I practice as a Trauma-Informed Therapist using Sensory Experience and Interpersonal Neurobiology interventions, I am focused not only on listening to the tone of the voice, the sounds of breathing and the language people use to voice their thoughts and feelings.  I am also focused on seeing whole-body movements, toes wriggling, restless or relaxed feet, hand gestures, and facial expressions.

In order to work more comfortably and to maximize on my ability to see and hear my clients, I purchased a computer with a larger screen.  Amazing the joy this expanded exposure brings into my therapeutic practice!  And personal social life.

Your personal life, both online and In Real Life, is dependent on good listening skills.  Couples have always told me that their problem is “communication”.  Lockdown with a partner/friend/child/family member has forced you into an unnatural amount of intense time together.  It has revealed communication fractures.  These fractures can be healed through listening.  Listening leads to intimacy and intimacy has a greater chance of sexual exchange happening #justsaying J

Lockdown apart from a beloved or a new person, demands intense communication in order to keep this person interested in you.

Today, I bring you a few ideas on how to listen and enrich your conversations.

 

MAKE YOUR CONVERSATIONS MORE MEANINGFUL

  1. Invite “I like chatting with you when we are both relaxed.  I’m in the mood now.  Is this a good time for you?  If not, let’s set a time when we can both be present with each other”.
  2. Decide if you want to sit shoulder-to-shoulder or preferably eye gazing, opposite each other.
  3. Online, check-in with the distance that feels most comfortable from the screen for you – and ask the other person what distance feels most comfortable for him/her/they.
  4. Share something of YOU: how you are feeling, your hopes, fears and dreams.
  5. Reminisce about happier times: ”Do you remember when… ?”
  6. Look at old photographs together.
  7. Ask open-ended questions. For example: “what has been the most interesting thing for you at this time?” “What is something you have learned about yourself at this time?”
  8. Ask interesting questions and share interesting thoughts: “These are the series/podcasts/books I am enjoying. These are the reasons why. How about you?”
  9. Create new rituals: early morning walk together, meet online for breakfast, at the end of each day check-in with each other about your emotional health.
  10. Share something that you have found sexually interesting without it being an invitation to be sexual.  And talk about why you found it sexy/arousing (or not).

WHAT IM READING

“The Undying: A Deep Meditation on Modern Illness” by Anne Boyer (Pulitzer Prize winner for non fiction, 2020)

 

WHAT IM WATCHING

“Little Fires everywhere” – Hulu

“Becoming – Michelle Obama” – Netflix

“Dead to Me” – Netflix

“Have a Good Trip” – Netflix

 

WHAT IM LISTENING TO

My Only Story” by Deon Wiggett – Podcast

WATCH THESE **LATEST** VIDEOS FROM INFECTIOUS DISEASE SPECIALISTS, GROOTE SCHUUR HOSPITAL  https://youtu.be/BuTupQiUtxw

 

Do’s & Don’ts

 

Xhosa COVID-19            to download CLICK HERE

Zulu COVID-19               to download CLICK HERE

English COVID-19 to download CLICK HERE

Afrikaans COVID-19      to download CLICK HERE

 

Flattening the Curve

 

English COVID-19 to download CLICK HERE

Afrikaans COVID-19      to download CLICK HERE

Xhosa COVID-19   to download CLICK HERE

Zulu COVID-19               to download CLICK HERE

 

Feel free to reach out to me via WhatsApp. Anonymity is guaranteed.  Let me know where your anxieties, fears and worries sit with you. Tell me what is soothing for you.  And what you need in this time of radical uncertainty.

 

060 890 1062

Feel free to book a teletherapy Skype session with me right here… https://www.dreve.co.za/appointment/

For more information please contact my PA Shantel: shantel@dreve.co.za

Take care

Marlene #stayhome

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