Tools to understand and manage Intimate Conflict

One tele-therapy session after the other , I notice the tension and dis-ease between 2 people who fill up my screen. In the confines of a screen I get to notice a lot more than when I have the same couple sitting on my therapy couch. I see the fear in their eyes, the tightness in their jaws, and the…

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I am in lock down with my cheating partner

A week into lock down and you notice that your usually shopping averse husband, is jumping at the opportunity to buy essentials at the grocery store. You also become aware that these shopping trips are pretty lengthy. Whilst thanking him for his enthusiasm and helpfulness, you wonder is it just corona virus craziness that has caused this change in his…

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You want me to do what ??!!! Corona Virus lockdown

  Spending 3 weeks in lockdown with  a known  partner either fills  the heart with forgotten  butterflies or dread. It could also mean moving in with a new person as partners who do not live together cannot see each other in person .   You choose this over 3 weeks of separation . Perhaps your long distance lover decides  to…

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What do you do post coital? 

Place yourself into this scenario. The penetration has happened. He has had an orgasm, She may be one of the 15% of women who reliably orgasm through only vaginal penetration . Or more likely she is  one of the 65% of women who orgasm , primarily  through  clitoral stimulation . What happens now? What do you do now? What does…

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A necessary new vision of HIV/AIDS in Men who have Sex with Men

As South Africans, we are all AIDS fatigued . It’s been around for so long that without blushing in  shame, we can ‘fess up  that we don’t enjoy condoms,  and that we don’t really use them reliably and consistently. And now that bio medical technology is here, why bother? A brief history of HIV/AIDS in South Africa. In 1982 the…

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