What do you do post coital? 

Place yourself into this scenario. The penetration has happened. He has had an orgasm, She may be one of the 15% of women who reliably orgasm through only vaginal penetration . Or more likely she is  one of the 65% of women who orgasm , primarily  through  clitoral stimulation . What happens now? What do you do now? What does…

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Limerence : a painful harmful love

  You’re at a workshop. You make eye contact with a person . It feels intense . A connection has been made . You chat. You feel there is a mutual understanding of specialness. You feel you have fallen in love, but really in love, not just   a crush. Not a sexual lust. A feeling so intense that it…

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Forgiveness of my perpetrator : yes or no ?!

I  observe closely  the hand wringing and   agitated  physical movements as I hear  the contradictorily   strong voiced declarations.  Declarations of hard work to get to this place of acceptance.and peace.   Hard work toward  Forgiveness.  This is followed by  intense gazing at me, short silences, as the person waits for my response. Approval is sought from me. Approval…

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A necessary new vision of HIV/AIDS in Men who have Sex with Men

As South Africans, we are all AIDS fatigued . It’s been around for so long that without blushing in  shame, we can ‘fess up  that we don’t enjoy condoms,  and that we don’t really use them reliably and consistently. And now that bio medical technology is here, why bother? A brief history of HIV/AIDS in South Africa. In 1982 the…

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