Google “how to masturbate” and you will be confronted with many guides on “Dating your down under”
, or Touch Yourself. All aimed at women. Interspersed are a few guides
for men /people with a penis.
It implies a silent understanding that men know how to masturbate and do it as part of their male privilege. Im not undermining the fact that many men struggle to give themselves permission to masturbate having imbued religious guilt or female partner guilt tripping . Well that is mostly about women’s discomfort around the porn their men view rather than an objection to the actual act of masturbation.
Women masturbate. The trend of sex toys as a fashion accessory , a must have for women, really brought this to the fore, “50 Shades of Grey” provided the fantasy/porn and because it was permissive and cool to read it , even in public spaces, female masturbation got some scientific attention.
Initially the permission for women to masturbate was couched within the vanilla safe world of sexual health : forgive me, I was too was a strong voice here perpetuating ” sexual health ” over “pleasure” . The “sexual health ” model dictates that women must masturbate as it is the best way for her to explore her own genitals and discover her erotic zones and turn ons. And whilst this remains true, Pleasure is the number one reason for females to masturbate.
According to a 2016 study
from the Archives of Sexual Behavior that looked at over 52,500 adults in the U.S. — including those who are lesbian, gay, and bisexual — 95 percent of heterosexual men reported they usually or always orgasmed during sex, compared to 65 percent of heterosexual women, who were the least likely.
Science asked why and how do women masturbate. I urge you to attend to the HOW as therein lies the golden key to unlock all your female partner orgasm problems.
36 percent reported that clitoral stimulation helped them orgasm during intercourse, whereas slightly more than 18 percent reported they orgasmed from intercourse alone.
Freud is turning in his grave as he was the original shame bringer of clitoral orgasms for women , calling the women who needed clitoral stimulation ” sexually and psychologically immature” and even “mentally ill.”
Because of female anatomy and the position of the clitoris, women are also more likely to orgasm if they receive oral sex (in addition to other activities like deep kissing and intercourse), However some studies show they are less likely to receive oral sex than they are to give it. Sound familiar ??!
As a woman perhaps you are less likely to orgasm with a partner than with masturbation because you focus more on intimacy
and trust when they are with a partner and more on pleasure during masturbation.
WHY DO WOMEN MASTURBATE ?
. Boredom, stress reduction , to fall asleep, relief at not having to please a partner or be pleased by a partner, To remain celibate and virginal before marriage, and because women are not guaranteed partner orgasms, so masturbation offers them certainty.
examined relationships among frequencies of, reasons for, and activities during masturbation, and investigated how such parameters predict orgasmic pleasure, latency, and difficulty.
Participants were 2215 women at least 18 years of age participating in a 42-item opt-in online survey that collected detailed information about women’s orgasmic response during masturbation and partnered sex.
The results showed that the higher frequency of masturbation was related to lower satisfaction with partner, greater importance of sex, and higher levels of general anxiety/depression. Frequency of, reasons for, and activities during masturbation predicted both orgasmic pleasure and orgasmic difficulty during masturbation.
Women cite various reasons
for orgasmic difficulty, most commonly general anxiety/stress, inadequate arousal, sex-specific stress and partner issues. Women who were distressed by their condition more frequently cited partner issues.
In summary, women masturbate as partner sex sucks. This is mostly due to the relationship stuff happening to her which in turn inhibits her desire and arousal to be sexual with him /her/they.
SURVEY FOR PEOPLE WHO MASTURBATE:
1. How often do you masturbate in a week ?
2. How long is a typical masturbation session for you?
3. Do you use any toy whilst masturbating?
4. If yes, describe the kind of toy you are using.
5. What time of the day do you mostly self love?
6. Where do you most frequently masturbate?
7. In what position do you most often masturbate?
8, Do you orgasm every time?
9. Do you masturbate more or less often when you are in a relationship.
10. Describe the kind of relationship : hook up, casual sex, infidelity, cyber infidelity, commitment, marriage.
11. Describe the technique you use: clitoral stimulation only, vaginal penetration, anal play, breast stimulation, or a combination
12. With or without porn?
13. Are you orgasmic with penetration alone?
HOW DO WOMEN MASTURBATE ?
2,215 women completed an online survey
about activities during masturbation and reasons for orgasmic difficulty during masturbation, and these were compared with activities and reasons for orgasmic difficulty during partnered sex.
Results: Women tend to use less conventional techniques for arousal during masturbation compared with partnered sex.
This means that women choose their own fingers, sex toys, water spray , cushions, cuddly toys ,over a penis. And these fingers and objects are mostly stimulating her clitoris and not her vagina. It also means that she gets to take the time she needs to play through the sexual response cycle until she reaches orgasm. With a sex toy, or her fingers and fantasies of her choice, this can take anything from 5- 20 minutes .. choice is all hers.
My suggestion : With great consideration and sensitivity and mostly consent , ask a woman to allow you to watch her masturbate. Ask her what the content of her porn or fantasies are.
You will soon see that it looks so completely different to the kind of sex that society says is healthy , pleasurable and “normal”, namely heterosexual , missionary position , man on top .