Just today, remember when as a parent you were really tired. Your child got sick on the night you had an urgent work project. And you pulled through. Reflect on a time when you were irritable, overwhelmed, impatient and low on energy. And you pulled through.
Pulling through requires resilience, healthy parental boundaries and most importantly, self care.
As a Family Therapist, I invite parents into my therapy room, knowing that parents feel they have to do everything to protect and provide for their children, and offer them better opportunities than they had. That is joyful… and hard work.
In service to your children, parenting can swallow up your sexual and relationship part as well as your healthy, Self part. Resentment, anger and relationship tensions result. Children respond to these tensions.
Notice the expressions on your children’s faces. Notice their behavior as with the best intentions, you pack their days with activities and monitor their online behavior. They long for your presence and attention. They long for connection and communication with you. This provides them with safety and security.
Perhaps you yourself are a survivor of a “difficult childhood” and manage parenthood through escape. Excessive exercise, work, alcohol, recreational drugs, risky sexual behavior, food, become ways to self soothe yourself, as daily you resource yourself as a parent.