“Dear Dr. Eve
I’ve had a rough childhood and spent many years feeling depressed and
unhappy.
I am now 25 years old and finally am beginning to see the light on the
possibility of a different life.
This happened because I got a qualification, a job that I love, and found
friends that accept me.
My only struggle is my intimate relationships. I choose the wrong men,
men who make me feel worthless and I allow them to emotionally – and
even sexually – abuse me.
I don’t really take good care of myself, don’t look out for myself much
and I know this may sound weird but I have all kinds of fears and
anxieties — and one of them is getting vaccinated. It doesn’t matter to
me if I get Covid-19, I will take my chances.
I’m not telling the men I date so I don’t feel good about this. Am I a bad
person??
KAYA.”
DR EVE REPLIES :
“Dear Kaya,
Are you ready? Kaya, Keready ??? Are you ready to grab life
opportunities?? Are you ready to step into life ?? Are you ready to get
control over your life Kaya? Do you want to feel as if you can kick ass,
kick out bad men and get control over your life??
Of course, you do… you’re young and life possibilities lie ahead of you.
I acknowledge that a rough childhood sucks for all kinds of reasons.
Mostly it gives you a rocky foundation so self-love and self-care are
challenging. Growing up in an environment in which you do not feel
valued or seen, acknowledged or held, and safely touched, interferes with
personal adult relationships. It makes you more vulnerable to choosing
the same neglectful kind of person as a partner.
So why and how can you care for yourself…
And you’re right, refusing vaccinations may be your response. it is a way
of showing that you really do not value yourself … and then it’s hard to
value the people around you. Growing up rough makes it hard to focus
on anything else but survival. And at that stage self-care means getting
basic needs met and clearly you did that Kaya. Well done to you!
Now you are no longer a child and look what you have achieved: a
qualification, a job and a sense of belonging with a group of friends.
Perhaps you are ready to begin an intentional and mindful way of living
which means practicing self-care.
Let’s talk about vaccinations and why I see them as a form of self-care.
Why should you suffer when you become infected with covid-19? Why
should other people close to you suffer and get ill? Getting vaxxed is a
form of self-care and care for others, Kaya.
Vaccinations open life up for you Kaya. They give you agency and control
over your life. Being vaccinated allows you to move more freely in the
world.
I invite you to create a tick box of dreams, of possibilities, of a life you
want to live: then go live it!
– Travel- passport & vax certificate in hand
– Events – vax certificate in hand
– Safe Intimate relationships – vaxxed people only
– Corporate /professional job – vax certificate in hand”
