Click here to see me talking about GRIEF
I want to talk to you about Grief. As we experience modified Level 3 and reintegrate and emerge into a different self and a familiar yet changed world, feelings of grief must once again be examined. The grief you feel now may be different to the grief you experienced at the beginning of lockdown.
I am sure you have heard of the 5 stages of grief created by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Here is a very brief refresher for you. Be aware as you track your own current stage and state of mind, that one cycles through these stages. They are not a linear line.
Once you’ve glanced at these 5 stages, I invite you to consider a different interpretation of GRIEF that I offer you.
Denial helps you minimize the overwhelming pain of loss. You are trying to absorb and understand what happened.
Experiencing extreme emotional discomfort makes you feel vulnerable. And that is uncomfortable. Anger may feel like it allows you an emotional outlet.
You feel so desperate that you are willing to do almost anything to alleviate or minimize the pain. By bargaining, you are doing SOMETHING, makes you feel some sense of emotional control.
Your brain begins to calm down, you realize the reality of the loss. Sadness, isolation, detachment from others may occur.
When we come to a place of acceptance, it is not that you no longer feel the pain of loss. You are no longer resisting the reality of your situation, and you are not struggling to make it something different.
AN ALTERNATIVE MODEL OF GRIEF
- Stage 1: a separation from life as usual
- Stage 2: in a place of uncertainty. You do not know when this will end. The time between “what was” and “what is” is not yet clear nor processed.
- You are grieving what is lost: income, jobs, people who have died, and died alone with no possibility of you being present for a farewell; a relationship, possibility of a planned pregnancy, a new career overseas, time as you are aging and have lost a year of your life.
- Acceptance that loss is part of the natural process of LIFE.
- Move into self-compassion – be in empathy with your own suffering.
Now I invite you to consider what cannot be lost: make a list for yourself: for example:
- Your underlying nature, your true self with all its gifts and burdens.
- Bonds that you have with others.
- Things that have occurred over time that have brought you delight.
- Music, art, nature, literature, movies, theatre cannot be lost.
Now I invite you to consider:
- What have I gained in this time of grief?
- What can be found?
Feel free to reach out to me via whatsapp. Anonymity is guaranteed. Let me know where your anxieties, fears, and worries sit with you. Tell me what is soothing for you. And what you need in this time of radical uncertainty.
060 890 1062
Feel free to book a teletherapy Zoom session with me right here… https://www.dreve.co.za/appointment/
For more information please contact my PA Shantel: firstname.lastname@example.org