The Economics of Intimacy

THE ECONOMICS OF INTIMACY

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q5BbBOdgpU

About once a week, I mask up, grab my purse and sanitizer and head off to the grocery store.  I stand in line, physically distant from others, breathing deeply and mindfully, as I listen to my music through my headphones.  It is a terribly anxiety-provoking experience for me.  I feel as if my health is threatened.  I get home as fast as I can and begin the ritual of cleaning all of my purchases.  At least at home, I can control my environment and ensure my own safety.

I then stand in gratitude.

I have tremendous gratitude that I am able to buy the food I just mindfully purchased.  Many, many people cannot afford to buy food. Or cannot afford to buy the same food to which they are accustomed.

Many, many people have lost employment or fear to lose their jobs and income.  Perhaps you have had your pay cut and cannot pay the rent or school fees.  And maybe as a couple, you were struggling financially before Covid-19 invaded our lives.

This has a tremendous impact on your sense of safety.  It escalates your anxiety which will keep you edgy, irritable or, withdrawn, and isolating alone in your own bedroom.

And if you grew up in poverty, this new economic hardship that Covid-19 has brought us will feel like a double punch in the guts of terror, as you experience a return to those childhood feelings.

Tick off what most matches your current relationship with money:


  1. My partner and I disagree about our finances
    2. I am hiding financial truths from my partner
    3. I miss buying things that make me happy
    4. I am spending more than ever
    5. I feel in control of my money
    6. Other

Here is how to manage economic uncertainty in your relationship and intimacy:

  • Accept that the feelings of wanting to take flight, fight or freeze, are normal signs of anxiety.
  • Know that unemployment and underemployment are one of the most common relationship problems.
  • Money is the most common predictor of stability in a relationship – so having economic instability will make your relationship unstable.
  • Research indicates that the more money you have, the more likely it is that you will stay together.  Don’t be surprised if talk of separation/divorce comes up now.
  • The most common predictor of intimacy terrorism (domestic violence) is unemployment and / or underemployment. Keep the number of an Abuse hotline close by 0800 428 428.
  • When one is under stress, you make the worst decisions. So be aware of all the financial decisions you make right now.

 

BE HELPFUL TO OTHERS

BE KIND

BE GENEROUS

 

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Do’s & Don’ts

 

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Flattening the Curve

 

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Feel free to reach out to me via WhatsApp. Anonymity is guaranteed.  Let me know where your anxieties, fears, and worries sit with you. Tell me what is soothing for you.  And what you need in this time of radical uncertainty.

060 890 1062

Feel free to book a teletherapy Skype session with me right here… https://www.dreve.co.za/appointment

For more information please contact my PA Shantel: shantel@dreve.co.za

Take care

Marlene #stayhome

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