I am in lock down with my cheating partner

A week into lock down and you notice that your usually shopping averse husband, is jumping at the opportunity to buy essentials at the grocery store. You also become aware that these shopping trips are pretty lengthy. Whilst thanking him for his enthusiasm and helpfulness, you wonder is it just corona virus craziness that has caused this change in his…

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You want me to do what ??!!! Corona Virus lockdown

  Spending 3 weeks in lockdown with  a known  partner either fills  the heart with forgotten  butterflies or dread. It could also mean moving in with a new person as partners who do not live together cannot see each other in person .   You choose this over 3 weeks of separation . Perhaps your long distance lover decides  to…

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Cyber Infidelity : a dishonest form of relationship

It is 11.30pm. He stumbles downstairs to see where his wife is. She is on the couch , immersed in her mobile device. Smiling , giggling.  As she sees him , she quickly , puts her mobile face down . GOTCHA! What follows is not pretty. He feels his gut constrict and he is not sure if he wants to…

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POSTING SEXUAL IMAGES (PSI) AND SEXTING : MENTALLY HEALTHY ? ?

Have you ever wondered if posting sexual images or sexting makes you deviant, perverted , or  a little crazy? Or do you brazenly post without giving it a second thought . Perhaps you do stop to wonder if this is legal (ask Emma Sadlier please )  pornographic , within the bounds of monogamy. Or maybe  you accept this as normative…

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The best of Dr Eve and Eusebius McKaiser , Radio 702: 2019

  Its 11am Friday morning. The jingle plays “Talking Sex” . I am alert and excited to begin the conversation . During the week my host, Eusebius McKaiser and I have mindfully discussed the topic and  thrown around ideas. We aim to educate, provoke and provide a safe and professional space for listeners. However we can never predict listeners’ response…

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Strategies, plots and plans : sneaky ways you manage sexual desire discrepancy.

In August 2015 a momentous event occurred in the world of sexuality and sexual health . The FDA approved the first ever drug to treat a sexual dysfunction in pre menopausal women,  namely , Hypoactive  Sexual Desire Disorder.  It is defined as ” a persistent lack of sexual desire in women that causes personal distress.” The Society for Women’s Health Research estimates…

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Bad Sex and the Orgasm Gap

Im trying to remember the first time I became aware of having Bad Sex. Was it the time I found myself lying underneath a man who was thrusting and thrusting .. and thrusting.. in silence as he was so focused on his own male pleasure and ego that his need  to delay  ejaculation overtook any consideration for the person he…

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Commitment ambiguity hurts people

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.” You…

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Intimate Loneliness: Sex with things

A few months ago , acclaimed  German artist and visual activist SaySay.Love reached out  and invited me to consider creating an event for his upcoming Exhibition, “Intimate Loneliness /Sex with Things”, at the Gus Gallery, Stellenbosch , 30th January. Like a well trained automated bot, I reached for my device and googled. And did an In Real Life “wow” when I…

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Radical Honesty — Is It Necessary To Talk About ‘Everything’?

There is a complicit, unspoken agreement between a couple not to talk about certain subjects. Like sexuality. “I’m not a cheater,” says the man on my couch. “I’m a responsible husband. I have a job, I parent, I don’t abuse my wife. We even have sex together. So I fulfil the basic requirements of marriage. Why do I have to…

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