Has there ever been a time in your life when you have got so angry that you ended up hurting someone you care about ? With words, not actions, just words. Words that left you looking around and wondering out of whose mouth did those words just come? Once you have returned to emotional regulation, you can be present…
Its 11am Friday morning. The jingle plays “Talking Sex” . I am alert and excited to begin the conversation . During the week my host, Eusebius McKaiser and I have mindfully discussed the topic and thrown around ideas. We aim to educate, provoke and provide a safe and professional space for listeners. However we can never predict listeners’ response…
Think back to your first sexual intercourse experience. Actually don’t think.. notice the sensations that come up in your body right now: warm glow all over, sudden pelvic contraction, heart pounding , throat constricting, head throbbing plus plus . Merely checking into your body will be enough to tell you whether or not that first intercourse experience was positive and…
This blog is not about what you do know about sex workers. Rather it is what you may not know about sex workers. It is about their interpersonal lives. Here is what we do know about South African sex workers (courtesy of Sonke Gender Justice/Zia Wasserman ) * In South Africa sex work is illegal. * The simple version of the…
In Eve Ensler’s play “The Vagina Monologues “ , a woman tells a story of her pubic hair. She never liked trimming or shaving her hair. She liked it natural. Her husband liked her to shave, to be completely clean shaven, , to remove all her pubic hair. She disliked it as she said it made her feel like…
The worst part of my domestic violence was that there was no end date. I never knew when it would happen and I never knew if it would ever end. And even when I left , I remained on the look out. Truth be told, I , like most victims of domestic violence was unable to leave, He literally…
I observe closely the hand wringing and agitated physical movements as I hear the contradictorily strong voiced declarations. Declarations of hard work to get to this place of acceptance.and peace. Hard work toward Forgiveness. This is followed by intense gazing at me, short silences, as the person waits for my response. Approval is sought from me. Approval…
When the call for help first came in , I had to take a moment and breathe. A few days earlier a young boy of 16 years old had told his father, whilst driving home from soccer practice, that his mother had been sexually abusing him since he was 12 years old. He wanted me to tell him what to…
Don’t ask . Simply do not ask this question. It implies that women are responsible for their own abuse and harassment . It hints at disbelief and doubt of the woman. It invites her onto a platform on which she has to explain and justify that she was indeed sexually abused. Its a cop out, a fall back position that…
Professionals who work clinically and conduct research into paedophilia must be be scientific and confident to withstand the arrows that get slung at them. Working professionally in sexuality is edgy. Working with children (and I refer to people under the age of 18 years old) and sexuality is off the edge. No person wants to imagine children being sexual, consensually…